Home Warming

I’ve semi-joked for the last few of years that I’d make myself a registry, if I’m not engaged by my 30th birthday. I’m not quite there yet but I’m getting close… my 29th birthday is July 31.

The other day, I re-shared a post on Instagram about celebrating people who are experiencing exciting/healing/hard changes — starting businesses, leaving toxic relationships, healing from trauma, buying a home (Instagram post found here)… and my wheels started turning.

I commented some rambling thoughts on this, saying that single people doing amazing things deserve celebration, too. People who live “non-traditional” lifestyles deserve celebration and support, as do (of course) people who are engaged or having a baby.

Last week, I moved into my dream apartment. The first time I’ve felt mentally “at home,” following several years of pretty substantial locational discomfort and instability.

My new space already feels like a place to cultivate creativity, healing and newfound joy. My entire adult life I’ve felt like a guest where I was living, and I didn’t realize the negative affect on my mental health until just recently. Having a space of your own, one that speaks to your needs and spirit, is invaluable. Unfortunately, it is a luxury, too.

So at almost 29, I scrapped it together and found the means to sign a lease for my dream home. Even more? A home I know that my inner child, Little Kate, would be extremely proud of. A nook for a studio. Big windows for constant sunshine — and for Sage Biscuit to watch the world around us. An archway and wood floors in a beautiful historic building. A short walk away from a coffee shop and a place that sells fresh bread. My home is already starting to look like an art gallery. A haven for my enneagram 4 self, and a place for people to come feel comfortable in. A sanctuary for myself, Sage Biscuit, and my people.

After I posted my ramble on registries for non-traditional events, I had a nearly overwhelming response in my messages. People told me, “Why wait til your 30th birthday, Kate? You’re living in your dream home now, after several years of significant unrest. Let your community support you and celebrate this exciting step with you.” My community told me to make myself and Sage Biscuit a housewarming registry, and I did.

I know it’s not necessarily traditional, perhaps even a little taboo — but maybe it’s time to start changing that. We should celebrate housewarming for single people. We should support people going through a divorce or ending a relationship, as they’re dividing up belongings and finding themselves in need. We should gather in community for people who are starting a small business or need items for their new office after a promotion. Why shouldn’t we normalize creating registries for things we need, and allow ourselves to lean on our community? It’s not tacky. It’s needed.

Life is hard and there is no right way to do it. Times are changing, and it’s harder to define what’s the “normal” path. We all deserve to be celebrated, no matter the stage we’re in. Adopt the rescue pup. Find your dream living space. Start a family in a way that works for you. Remember we’re all doing incredible, sometimes difficult, things for our wild world — and we should celebrate that.

So, I made myself and Sage Biscuit a little registry through Target. I am not expecting anything from this at all, if anything I’m treating it as a mood board so I can save for things that would make my life easier.

Replacing a comforter and sheets on my bed, that were originally from a season that was deeply isolating and traumatic. I would like to imagine a space where I feel like my bed is an area for rest, not sleepless nights.

A step stool so I can actually reach the top cupboards and use them, without needing to ask a taller partner for help.

Finally envisioning things that would truly make functioning easier, as a person who struggles with depression and anxiety.

Putting beauty in organization and stability.

Finally donating belongings I’ve had since college, and replacing those with belongings that help me feel like an adult woman with her life together.

For the first time in my adult life, I sense that I’m finally in a space where I might be able to start leaning into what I need. I want to seek happiness within myself and heal, and my enneagram 4 self largely depends on my surroundings for a sense of peace.

There is power in a person leaning on their community, instead of always trying to scrap it together themselves. There’s power in renewing traditions that are outdated, and normalizing celebrations for non-traditional lifestyles. And there’s also power in more people doing this.

I made a registry for my new home, my dream place to live. A sanctuary dwelling that Sage Biscuit and I can call our own. Maybe this is a gentle nudge to encourage you to make one for yourself. Let your community love on you a little extra. We deserve it.